Christopher's Progress

Considering that I haven't updated anything about Christopher in FOUR years, things will be really big here! Christopher has done so much in the last few years that in some ways he seems like a completely different kiddo. In other ways he is still very much the same!

First and foremost, Christopher speaks. He can't necessarily carry on a conversation with you if you are not interested in what he wants to talk about, but he can and does definitely verbalize things. I would say that for necessary communication we're at about an 80% give or take. When he is really upset/bothered by something he cannot always tell you what is going on. For instance, he really doesn't like the bells being used during the consecration at daily Mass. Instead of saying something like "I don't like the bells" or even "no bells" for a while he would say "punch/kick/hit Olivia" who is one of our friends' daughters and she is really a great kiddo who was altar serving at daily Mass for a bit. He really likes Olivia, she's one of his favorite friends, but he couldn't figure out how to articulate that the bells were bothering him so instead he blamed the person who was making the noise.

Something else that has been amazing is to see how he is with Benedict. We were really worried about how he would handle a crying baby, something that we couldn't control the sound with. But, it was actually not something to be too worried about; initially he was really upset but then we just put Benedict in his lap and suddenly he was "Christopher's baby" and Christopher was holding him often. Funny thing though, he had to pull his pant legs up!

And then we have him and Dominic. They have moved into a really typical brother relationship which is super cool and super annoying simultaneously. Most often if he's annoyed with Dominic it's for pretty normal reasons and he reacts in that normal way. Interestingly, when we were going through the really rough stage with Christopher, Dominic could sense when it was an autistic meltdown and would just sit there and take it. Now we have to remind him when Christopher is having a hard time because he's autistic and when he's just being a bratty little brother. But they are still best friends and do really play together these days!

Currently we don't have Christopher in any therapies, I took a course called More Than Words with his speech therapist that got him his "talker" or communication device. It was amazing and I'm actually planning on doing a refresher course and going through some of the lessons to work on specific things that he's struggling with. We attempted to restart OT and Speech when Benedict was about 4 months old but it was just too hard for me because it was an hour away. And, with his progress it seemed to be more than what we needed at the time. Speaking of his communication device, he still uses it, but it's often to learn new words or work on sentences. He's started using the keyboard to type out the words if they aren't in his dictionary on there. Because, OH YEAH HE CAN READ!!! That came as a shock as we'd never worked with him on it specifically but suddenly we realized he was reading signs. He can read all the words to me when he does his phonics in school as well as reading his spelling words. Seton helped us to set up a modified course for him with different courses than what Dominic used when that seemed appropriate. Primarily English and Math right now. We are having him sit in on Dominic's religion lesson and then we were gifted a set of these 1st Reconciliation and 1st Communion sets by Beth Anne. It was an amazing thing and he can often be talked to about his behavior with words from the 1st Reconciliation kit including "is this a bad choice?" Which he will often reply to with "No bad choice Christopher! Sad Jesus!" while sobbing, and really, does it get more pure than that?

All in all Christopher has made really awesome progress. He even does things sometimes specifically to get a reaction from you and joke/play with you. Of course, then it becomes a script and deviation is not allowed, but you know...baby steps! 😁

A Diagnosis-the Beginning of a Journey

So yesterday we had the feedback session via Google Hangouts with the doctor who evaluated Christopher. He is definitely autistic (what we expected) and he said that if we were to measure the spectrum on a scale of 1-10, Christopher would be around a 5-6. Despite this being what we expected, I found myself feeling even more overwhelmed. I immediately started thinking about what to do to get services started. I got in contact with the case worker who would help with getting the Medicaid waiver and then I started making other calls about services.

I started to contact the schools and some private therapy places. I started to feel like I had to get something started because I couldn't possibly be the one to help him. After all, I'd been the one in charge for the past three years, and here we were. I chatted with a few of my online friends that have some older kiddos that have autism, and they all told me in various ways that we are who he needs. I don't have to make any decisions right now; as Jason pointed out, we still haven't received the suggestions that the doctor is going to send us, and waiting isn't going to make any differences. In other words, I can't make things worse than what we are currently dealing with.

The diagnosis seems kind of like an end; and it is, it's an end to the wondering, and the questioning. But it is more importantly a beginning. Whatever therapy options we choose, this is a journey that we are embarking on that will shape not just Christopher, but us as well. It's an important choice, but it isn't a permanent decision. Deciding to do private therapy or focusing on techniques we do on our own only doesn't mean that we can't send him to school later; if we chose to send him to school it doesn't mean that we can't choose not to later. What Christopher needs the most is us, he needs us to help him through this time so that's what we are going to. Be a family, and work together, rejoice in the positive moments and struggle through the difficult times. Together.