Quick Takes - Vol 18

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I started listening to audio books recently, and have been enjoying it quite a bit. My library uses Overdrive to lend books and audio books, so I downloaded the app and use it to listen to the audiobooks. I'm "reading" things that I had never read before, and I'm having to do it a bit more thoroughly than normal. I'm a skimmer, but with this, obviously, I can't really skim.

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The boys and I went to the local community building where, on Thursday mornings, they have a free parent and tot play time. They throw out some toys and balls in the gym and the kids can run and play. We were the only ones there yesterday, but it was still a lot of fun.

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Dominic came in yesterday while I was trying to make the bed and fold laundry. He was less than helpful.

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We did not get the major cold that everyone else did, I mean it got colder than it has so far this Winter, but nothing like they were getting in the Polar Vortex. Nonetheless, the boys and I have been spending a good part of the days (read: all.day.long) inside. Primarily this is because they hate to wear coats or anything, and so they can't really handle being outside for very long. Today though, the sun was shining this morning and I took the boys out for a while. I was trying to teach Dominic how to throw snowballs.

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I decided not to buy Diet Mtn Dew for the house anymore. I need to drink a lot more water, so if I don't have any pop in the house I figure I will do a bit better with regards to that. It's only the first day, but i miss it already. This will be hard.

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I decided to make Jason start the Insanity program again with me. My plan is to still get up in the morning and do my cardio at the gym, then in the evening, after the boys are in bed, doing the Insanity workout. So far this week I have not made it up at all to go to the gym. I'm not sure why, I barely notice my alarm going off in the morning. Tomorrow is a new day right? Anyway, Jason and I were both cursing my "bright" idea of doing Insanity last night. It definitely kicked our butts. In a good way. I think???

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Jason and I have been playing Chess in the evenings too. I haven't beaten Jason yet, but I'm certain it's just a matter of time. ;-) I have managed to put him in Check a few times and the other night I even tricked him into letting me get my queen back! That was a good moment for me!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Quick Takes (Vol 10)

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This week I talked about how I am trying to not let being bad at something discourage me from trying. Not letting what is hard for me kind of rule my life and what I attempt. I'm seriously taking this to heart with as many aspects of my life as I can. I'm working hard when I workout with the Insanity video; I'm doing dishes and sweeping multiple times; I'm keeping SpongeBob off (I didn't mention that in my post, but when it's hot outside and we can't go outside it has been so hard not to succumb to movie watching) as much as I can. I feel like this is really positive and I'm pretty proud of myself.

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Speaking of being hot outside, this is what our week was like:

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Speaking with my friend Krista today we were discussing some homeschooling information (she's pretty much my hero with regards to homeschooling, and cooking; I'm planning on moving to Canada and moving in next door to her. Look out Krista!!), and she gave me this great link to Charlotte Mason info and I bought a new book! (Krista, Jason might be contacting you regarding your influence ;-)) I am really excited to get into it and get the book, because this is the kind of learning that I want to do with the boys.

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We had Christopher's early intervention meeting this week. We met with the Speech therapist and the developmental...I don't know what her title is but she's the one that will come in most of the time to work with us. We will start with 2 times a week and then that may go down once the school year starts again, depending on how he's doing and their schedule. I was a little put off by the speech therapist because she seemed to be judging some of our parenting choices like homeschooling (apparently early intervention cuts off at 3yo if your child is not enrolled in school) and the fact that we don't do playgroups. I did speak to a friend of mine who works with this therapist and she told me that the therapist is just really blunt and she comes off sounding harsh often, but to not take it personally. Anyway, we still haven't gotten a good hearing test and the early intervention test people are telling us our next option is for him to be sedated, which I'm really not feeling. So I called the ENT that did his tubes and asked them, the MA suggested we get him in to be seen since his right tube has already fallen out. It might all be related to fluid in the ears, so wish me luck with regards to that, I'm sure he'll love being held down so they can check his ears.

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I'll be working every Sunday for a semi-local (40 miles away) nursing home starting next week on top of the helping out I do in KS and I'm excited. I enjoy working in KS but sometimes that 2 hour trip is a lot. But, I will still be able to help them out at least one day a week, so that's good. I enjoy working, but when I come home exhausted and hug the boys, I have serious doubts that I could do it every day. I mean, I could if I had to, or if it was the best choice for our family, but I probably wouldn't want to. :)

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Also when talking to Krista, we discussed some good books for the kids and she made this suggestion. I probably would have been unconvinced that the boys would like something like this because it does not contain what you would consider typically kid images; but, the boys' favorite Mass book, which they fight over, is very similar in art. You should totally click on that link and take a look inside...the pictures are beautiful!

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I'm still trying to come up with a good idea for a vacation. The boys are too young to get much enjoyment out of something like Disneyland so I think that's off the list for a few years; and I'm trying to come up with something that won't cost an arm and a leg. I'm also trying to talk Jason into a road trip! Suggestions welcomed and appreciated!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Just a Moment-A Decision

This morning when 5 AM rolled around I couldn't  do it; I couldn't make myself get out of bed. I was sore, and so tired, and it felt good curled up in bed. I told Jason I couldn't do it and please could we work out tonight. He said yes because he is awesome.

Later, when I'd pulled myself up out of bed and had showered I noticed it. That twinge of pain in my left knee when I sat just wrong. Or when I climbed off the bed the dull ache in both knees. My immediate first thought was "I guess I am done with Insanity again."

As I contemplated what that meant (would I go back to just walking, 10 minute trainer again, or something else), it struck me that this is how I got here. And this epitomizes my behavior in nearly everything. When I struggle to do well I don't want to continue.

Math and science were hard for me in school but instead of studying harder I just told myself that I wasn't a math person and that's okay. When I realize working out is hard for me I've resigned myself to always being the chunky girl. When I can't manage to keep the house picked up, I convince myself that the housekeeping gene just missed me. When waking up to say prayers and go to Mass was hard on me I resigned myself to the fact that I just wasn't a morning person and that's okay.

And it's not okay. The truth is, when I wake in the early morning it is hard and I want to just roll over and go back to sleep but I always, always feel better after a workout and prayers. Why can't I tell myself that and get up to do it anyway? Human nature? Well it's MY human nature and I'm going to fight it. My knee pain is nothing that I wouldn't tell a patient to push through. It can only stop me if I keep letting my fear of struggling hold me back. I know I have far to go, and that IS okay because the journey won't be boring. :)

P.S. This does not mean I will suddenly have a spotless house or that I will all of a sudden be a math whiz...1 journey at a time folks!

Who Would Have Guessed?

I missed doing Insanity! Like, really missed it. I felt like my walks were good, but I knew that once it gets even hotter, I might not be able to keep it up. And 10 minute trainer really didn't leave me feeling like I'd worked out. So, I asked Jason if he would start doing Insanity with me again. We started yesterday morning. And boy am I sooooore!!!

My knees never bothered me throughout the first section of Insanity, not until we started the real maximum intensity. So, I'm holding out hope that my knees stay pain free this time. To help ensure that, I am not doing any jumping and pretty much nothing with both feet off the floor at the same time. Jason's making sure to watch my technique while I do lunges or squats so I don't hurt myself that way.

I'm still going to try to do some walking in the morning because it really helps my knees (I think? I know I feel good after walks), but that's going to have to wait until my body is used to the punishment that is Insanity again.

I'm still struggling at about the same weight that I was in the beginning. Still fluctuating from 274-276 for some reason. I feel like all this work is going to build up, that at some point this weight is going to melt off. Well, I hope that's the case anyway. I have noticed some really awesome things that aren't directly related to the scale though. I was able to stand up out of the chair at daily Mass while holding Christopher without using my hands at all. This may seem silly, and lame, but it was incredibly hard for me to do this before and now I can so I'm definitely getting stronger! The other thing is a little more embarrassing, but hey, I've already put my numbers out there so this can't be that bad right? Because I'm so overweight my inner thighs rub together; because I always wear skirts this is a daily problem for me. Lately, while there is still some rubbing, it is not that bad. There's never pain anymore and where in the past if we walked a couple miles I'd have sores on my legs (TMI?! Sorry!) but that hasn't happened in months! This is huge! This is probably the biggest thing that hurts my self-esteem. It's so demoralizing to know that I can't even walk without my weight getting in the way; but this progress, this gives me hope.

So that's my update this week. Sorry if you're not interested, I'm just trying to get it all out there because I know that a lot of people struggle in the same ways and to varying degrees. I have a post planned later this week for talks about overeating and gluttony...how do we know if our weight is sinful?