Our lives are filled with choices; do I wear red today, or blue. Drink water, or a Coke. Eat a greasy burger, or that healthy salad. Some choices are mundane and have little consequences for the world around us, and other choices (get married, or become a nun) affect many people around us. As parents the choices that we make have lasting consequences. Our children will be shaped by these choices, and their kids might be shaped as well. There are a lot of different choices when it comes to parenting; often these do not equate to right and wrong or good and bad. It is not "more" right to have a schedule for naps for your kids than to not. It is simply a choice.
I wonder what gives people the audacity to do this; and I mean when there is not abuse in any form happening. Not like "I can't believe you let your 2 year old play 'cook' with your real stove when you're getting the bath ready for your 1 year old that you plan to leave alone in the bathtub while you read a book". I mean, just different choices that people don't agree with; what gives you the right to question me? (And of course, I mean 'you' in the general sense! ;-))
I've recently taken some hits from family members who, I'm sure, think that Jason and I are extremely selfish parents. We don't like to pass the kumquat around. We try to let the two grandmas and the grandpas (if they want) hold the baby, but honestly, even passing him off to them is hard for us. And, no, it's not because our parents are crazy and we don't trust them. It's because we absolutely adore holding Dominic. He is so sweet and cuddly right now, and we know that this is not going to last, and honestly we want to enjoy that as much as we can. We are new parents so we are also getting the feel for how we want to parent, and so we aren't spending as much time with our families as we did before the kumquat made his arrival.
So, some people in my family decided to tell me that it's unfair that they are not getting to hold Dominic. I'm sorry that their feelings are hurt, and that certainly was never our intention. And it's OK for you to not agree with us about what we're doing, but it isn't OK to be disrespectful and attack what we're doing. If you want to voice your opinions, that's OK, but do not make passive-aggressive comments as you step away. Do not attempt to guilt us into doing things by pointing out that my parents will die. Um, yeah, I know all about that mortality thing. But mostly, please be prepared to hear the truth delivered to you bluntly if you cannot be respectful to our choices.
I've decided that in the future when things come up about what we are or aren't doing with our little kumquat(s), that I'm going to say "thank you for your opinion. Are you excited to see <<insert new exciting movie coming out>>?" And hope that they take the hint!